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Posts from February, 2009

Does He/She Like Me?

Feb 26

There is no surefire, 100% guaranteed way to know if someone likes you as more than a friend…and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. There are, however, certain signs you can look for that will give you a pretty good idea if your friend or aquaintance is interested in being more than friends.

Good Looking

Test his/her Personal Space
Everyone has something called “personal space”. It is like a bubble around us that we don’t like people trespassing into. If someone gets too close, we instinctively move away, and if they get too close again we move away again. When we are attracted to someone that bubble disappears. They can brush their thigh against ours while sitting close and we won’t jerk our leg away, they can stand close and we won’t step to the side, they can sit beside us on a long couch while watching a movie and we don’t ask them to move over. We enjoy being close to those who we are attracted to and sometimes make excuses to do so.
So, the first step in gauging whether your friend is attracted to you is to get past their “personal space” and monitor their reaction. If they move away, heed it as a warning and don’t try it again that day. Our personal space is a personal thing and many of us become annoyed if someone repeatedly invades it against our will. You can try this several times (over several days) and if he or she continues to move away as if by reflex, chances are, they are not attracted to you. This is not to stop you from trying the next test another time.

Observe Their Body Language
Is your friend exhibiting flirtatious behaviour with you? Do they find excuses to touch you, stand close, compliment you repeatedly on your appearance? Do their pupils dilate when they see you? Science has found that our pupils dilate when we are looking at someone or something we are attracted to.
Watching out for flirtatious behaviour is a good method, but it is probably the most unreliable of all that are listed. This is because some people are natural flirts, they flirt with everyone, including their friends. Also, some people are very affectionate with their friends and that could be miscontrued as flirting.

Touch his/her Hand
Another way to gauge if someone is attracted to you is to deliberately touch, or almost touch their hand. Try passing him or her something and hold it in a way that makes it difficult for them to take it without your hands touching. When they reach to take it, observe whether or not they expend any effort to touch the smallest surface area of your hand possible. If they avoid touching your hand then it could mean that they want to avoid all physical contact with you. Take it as a good sign if they linger by your hand when they touch you. Better yet, are their hands sweaty?
You could also try placing your hand very near your friend’s hand and watch to see if they move theirs away. If they are standing with a hand rested on a railing, stand next to them and rest your hand right beside theirs. If they are trying to program their DVD or CD player, help them and let your hand graze by theirs while you both play with the buttons. It would be a bad sign if they retracted their hand completely.

Watch for Changing or Strange Behaviour
Does your friend seem unusually awkward or nervous around you? Are their hands shaky or sweaty? Do they avoid talking about other guys/girls, and seem very uninterested in hearing you talk about other guys/girls that you are interested in?
Are they suddenly complimenting you more than usual? Are they only letting their best side show? Is she spending more time getting ready than usual? Is he wearing his nicest clothes and cologne…things you’ve only see him do when going on a date with other women?

Listen to What they Say
It sounds like a no brainer, but I am telling you anyway because when we like someone we tend to ignore any signs that they don’t like us and really play up any signs that they do. If your friend is saying things similar to those below then they may have picked up on your interest and are subtly hinting back that they aren’t interested in taking the friendship further.
“It is so nice to have a male/female friend who is just a friend.”
“I really like this guy/girl from work, we went out last night….”
“There is a new guy/girl at school who I am really interested in. Can you give me some advice on striking up a conversation?”
“I’m so glad we can just be friends without getting physically involved, I see so many friendships ruined because they crossed that boundary.”
“I have a friend who I’de like to set you up with, you guys would get along so well!”


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How to know when the Relationship is Over

Feb 22

When you enter a relationship, you aim to stay in it for a long time. However there are times when things do not work out the way we would want them to. There are times when things turn out sour and we would need to call it a day. it is a terrible decision to make. But someone has to make the decision which would probably be the best thing for both of you. So how would you actually know if it is time to kiss the relationship goodbye?

Relationship Over

Here are some indicators that the relationship is going nowhere:
• You know it is going nowhere when you dread seeing your significant other.
• It is not going to work out if you make excuses just so that you do not need to meet that day.
• It is a chore to wake up and dress up to meet your guy.
• You find yourself wishing you are elsewhere every time you are with your significant other.
• You find yourself wishing you are single again.
• You start to act like a single person. You now flirt with other people and actually go out on dates as if you are not in a relationship.
• You are seeing someone else already. You have not done anything yet like holding hands or kissing, but you are seeing this person on a regular basis.
• You dread being intimate with your partner. You do not even like holding his or her hand.
• You view your partner as someone you can merely have sex with.
• You both do not talk anymore.
• You do meet up but there is no conversation going on anymore.
• You only ask perfunctory things but do not really talk about meaningful things.
• You do not go out of your way to do things for your partner the way you used to.
• You enjoy time at work and with friends more than with your partner.
• You do not bother to resolve issues anymore every time you fight.
• You fight more often.
• You do not call and send each other text messages anymore.
• You get easily irritated by things your partner does nowadays.
• You do not make effort to dress up well for your partner nowadays.
• You do not discuss important matters with your partner like the way you used to before.
• You count the minutes till your date is over.
• You would rather be at home than out eating dinner with him.
• You change his name in your cell’s phone book. it is now just his name and not the term of endearment you used to call him before.
• You do things that you know would annoy or even upset him.
• This relationship is getting boring.
• You are getting bored with him.
• You do not see your future with that person anymore.
• You do not build your future with that person anymore.
• You have not kissed properly in ages.
• You do not hug the way you used to before.
• Your meetings after work mean that you eat dinner together for 45 minutes then head home.
• Your partner does not seem excited to see you.
• There is no more feeling of excitement before you meet up.
• You are happy to go out with friends and not with him.
• Every conversation leads to an argument or a fight.

If you are experiencing a combination of these things, then it means that it is time to let go. If you experience one or a few of these things from time to time, it is normal. A relationship cannot be rosy the entire time. But if these things are occurring more often and are the common things you experience most of the time, then it is definitely time to pack your bags and say goodbye. The relationship has turned toxic and you are no longer happy with the way things have turned out. If you still want to work on it, then make sure that you talk to your partner about it and see how things can change. If you want to take a breather from each other, then do so. It might be good to have some time to contemplate and see if your lives are still moving towards a direction you both have been working towards. After giving each other a chance and it still goes back to this, then it is definitely time to go bye-bye.


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How to get a guy to notice you

Feb 15

So you have your eye on a guy. You are dying to go out with him. You have been eyeing since that time you bumped into him a month. You want to go out on a date with him. But you are not too sure if he likes you. So how do you go out on a date with him?

Guy

Here are some tips on how to make yourself irresistible to the guy you like:

• Place yourself within his vicinity. That way he would notice you more.
• When you are in a group and you see your boy, do not act boisterous and loud. It might just turn him off. But do show some enthusiasm for the conversation you are carrying with your friends. you would not want him to think you are a bore.
• Make friends with him. If you mingle in the same social circle, be friends with his friends. eventually you will get to know him.
• Be confident. All guys like a confident girl who can express herself well.
• Talk to other people. Do not make that guy think that he is the only person you will talk to. Mingle with other guys to make him realize that he is not the only guy in the planet.
• Do your own thing. If you excel in what you are doing, you will definitely catch his attention.
• Invite him to go out with you and your friends. that way he would get to know you better.
• Talk to him. Guys like girls who talk to them. They like girls who are confident enough to express their opinions.
• Be expressive with your opinions. Do not be afraid to talk about how you feel about something. But do not overdo it.
• Flirt with the guy you like. As you get to know him better, feel free to flirt with him. But do not flirt too much. He might think you are an easy catch.
• Be a girl. Let him help you cross the street and open doors for you. This does not mean that you are not independent. It would just make him feel like a man for being able to take care of you.
• Do not talk too much. Guys like women who listen to them. There is a time to talk and a time to listen. Be sensitive on that.
• If you guys are going out, get there 5-10 minutes late. That way he would not get the impression that you are too eager to go out with him.
• Be honest. If he asks you some questions about your past and your life, tell him about it. You do not want to start off a potential relationship with lies. But do not give all the facts just yet. Take your time to get to know more about him before you reveal more about yourself.
• Touch him when given a chance. If you are walking on the street, touch his arm as if to support yourself. You can also touch his arm if you want to call his attention on something. This will make him wonder if you actually like him or are just calling his attention. Keep him wondering. It will add your charm.
• Send him a text message or call him. if you work together or hang out in the same group, there are enough reasons as to why you can call him. when you do call him, ask him how he is. He would start wondering if your concern for him is something stemmed from friendship or because you actually like him.
• If he shows some interest, show him the same interest back. But once again do not be too eager.
• If he asks you out, do not make yourself too available. Do not jump at his first invitation. Try to reschedule. If he is interested enough, he would ask you again.

There are many ways on how to make a guy notice you. One tip would be to just be yourself. Do not try to act like someone you are not. Do not go out of your way to please him. when he starts noticing you, remember to play it cool. It would be nice to jump the first instance he asks you out. But try to avoid this so he will know that you are not an easy catch.


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How to Impress a Woman?

Feb 06

I’ve learned a secret to impressing women that I’m going to share with you. It’s a secret that probably not 1 in 1,000 men know or will ever figure out on his own. The reason that most men will never figure out this particular secret is that it’s too obvious.

Woman Impress

Let me explain.

I personally think that most men feel a very powerful desire to IMPRESS women. If you watch the way a man behaves when he’s talking to a woman he’s just met or a woman that he’s on a first date with, you can see it. Maybe you’ve been there yourself.

I know I have. Many, many times, in fact. The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually comes along with another feeling: don’t screw this up.

Here are some of the signs that a guy is feeling the need to “impress” the woman that he’s talking to:

1) He tries to only say “cool” things, or things that will “impress” the woman.
2) He acts nervous and stilted during the conversation. sometimes coming across as “formal”.
3) He tries to figure out what the woman wants to hear.
4) If he says something that the woman doesn’t like, he “back-pedals” and tries to change what he said to suit the woman.
5) He doesn’t say anything “risky”, doesn’t tease the woman, and doesn’t do anything to upset her.

In other words, when a guy is talking to a woman that he “likes”, he’s usually on his “best behavior”, and he’s trying to “put his best foot forward”. To say it again, men feel a powerful drive to impress the woman that they like. And this drive to impress often makes them act unnatural.

There’s your first hint, in fact. Well, here it is: stop trying!

If you will just stop trying to impress women, and do the things I’m teaching you instead, women will naturally be “impressed” by you. Trying to impress a woman doesn’t impress her. So let’s break this down.

What’s wrong with trying to “impress” women, anyway? When you intentionally try to impress a woman, you send the following messages on a “subtle” level:

1) I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I will try to “impress” you instead.
2) I’m not comfortable enough around women to just act normal.
3) I don’t have a lot of experience with attractive women.
4) I’m insecure.
5) I don’t know how to make women feel comfortable with me.

But it’s the truth. Women can tell instantly when you’re “trying”. The conversation doesn’t feel “normal”, your body language is strange, and you can’t seem to have a regular conversation.

Now of course, I’ve just described the way that about 99.9999% of men act when they’re first talking to a woman that they “like”. Are you ready for a profound insight?

Most men do this with most attractive women most of the time. In other words, it’s old news. It’s boring. It’s predictable. And it does not impress at all.

The bottom line is that trying to impress a woman usually has the opposite effect. It not only makes you look like a nervous guy who can’t make normal conversation. It also bores the hell out of women.

What to do instead? OK, so you’re out having a cup of tea with a beautiful woman you just met a few days before. She asks you what you do for a living. Should you answer with:

1) “Well, I’m an engineer for a software company that makes sophisticated vector widget plotting algorithms. I’ve been with them for three years, and I’m about to be promoted to algorithm manager.”

2) “I do stunt work. Have you ever seen it in a movie when a hot actor has to reveal his naked ass? That’s my job.”

Well, it all depends on what your outcome is. If you want to try and impress the girl with your cool high-tech job, then #1 will work just fine. Unfortunately, it won’t impress her at all, and it will make you sound like a jackass who is trying to sound cool. If you want to actually impress her, try #2.

Most men don’t have the balls to say something like this when a woman asks a “serious” question like “What do you do?”.

If you REALLY want to make a long-lasting impression, keep the humor going. She’ll say “No, really… what do you do?”.

Answer with: “No, really. Haven’t you ever seen it when an actor needs a stunt ass? I mean hey… someone’s got to do it”.

Now, I can’t possibly go into all the reasons why it’s a huge mistake to try to impress a woman, or to feel like everything you say should be “impressive”.

There are many reasons for this. More importantly, there are a few things you can do that will instantly impress a woman. And I mean really impress her. But these things aren’t obvious.

The most important thing you can do to impress a woman is make her feel a powerful emotional attraction for you. This feeling will stay with her long after you have left and gone home. And it’s the one thing that will make women pursue you and try to impress you.


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