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Posts from June, 2009

A Guide in Dating Writers

Jun 28

Writers are enigmas most of the time. They have an attractive aura, yet hard to figure out. If you plan to date a writer, take note of that person’s little qualities that may pose a challenge for you. As they have their own quirks, since it is not exactly an orthodox occupation, you may have to adjust to that person’s way of doing work. Adapting to that person may take time, but it is entirely possible.

Dating Writer

The biggest thing to remember is that when you’re dating a writer, he/she will not necessarily adjust his/her work schedule to match yours. Unless he/she has flexibility in his/her line of work, he/she needs a set time for working on his/her writings. For some, it may be of habit, while others just feel more comfortable and inspired at certain times. As far as it goes, his/her work days are off limits. Know when his/her free times are and adjust to them so that you may actually have time to date and interact.
Privacy is a big thing for writers since the process of writing something takes both time and mental energy. Each writer has his/her own way of doing things, and it may not be a good idea to assume things when it comes to his/her habits and methods. If you want to read his/her new work, you may not get to do so immediately, having to wait until it is finished. Sometimes, there are those who actually ask for other people’s opinions, but not all writers are like that. The important thing here is to not force that person to show something. Give him/her time and space to work, then perhaps he/she might want to show you later on.
Prepare yourself for some unusual dates that may not exactly strike your fancy, but may be quite interesting. A lot of times, writers need to do some research, a lot of them being in unusual locations that you may never even heard of. An open mind is key here, and it just goes to show that the world is a big and wonderful place indeed. Sharing these experiences will do a lot in becoming more comfortable with each other.
Writers deal with tight deadlines that may short most people’s circuits. It is important to remember that when you are dating a writer, you are also dating her deadlines. Do not be surprised if she suddenly cancels a date in the last minute or lock herself up in her room for days at a time as she may be trying to finish a piece. A writer’s life is never sure, right from her income to whatever he/she is writing about at any given moment. Be prepared for some unexpected circumstances during your time with him/her.
It is common for writers to ask other people for opinions and feedback on their writings. You must take note of what kind of feedback he/she is asking for. Make sure that you know what he/she is asking for, whether just a confirmation of how good or bad it is, what can be added or removed, or just some ideas on how to improve it. A lot of writers are sensitive, and you may not want to hurt those feelings with a criticism too harsh for him/her. Tread lightly when it comes to these things so that you do not screw up.
Remember that writers are generally not good at talking. There is a reason why they got into writing in the first place, and you must understand this will an open heart. Finding that balance with each other means that you must learn about his/her likes and dislikes in a very careful fashion, as he/she may not tell. With writers, it is all about comfortable silence. Help him/her through this with great care, and he/she may learn to become more comfortable with you.
There are plenty more things that you can do to successfully date a writer, but the important thing to remember is that they are mostly different from others who have normal jobs. Writing is a profession that is definitely easier said than done. Quite an underestimated line of work, writing is only funny when you are not doing it yourself. The deadlines and guidelines to each project strains writers in different way, a lot of them being in unusual locations that you may never even heard of. An open mind is key here, and it just goes to show that the world is a big and wonderful place indeed. Sharing these experiences will do a lot in becoming more comfortable with each other.


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How to know if he loves you

Jun 18

One of the more frustrating feelings when going out with someone is not knowing whether the person loves you or not. So how would you actually know if he loves you or not.

Love

Here are some ways to know if your wonder boy loves you or not:
• You know he loves you if he is constantly there for you
• You know that he loves you if he would put everything down just to do something for you.
• You know that he loves you if he would go out of this way to do things for you.
• You know that he loves you if he would sit for hours talking to your mother about the new plants she bought.
• You know that he loves you if he would sit for hours trying out different recipes your dear mother has concocted.
• He loves you if he makes the effort to get to know your family members and actually spends time with them.
• You know that he loves you if he makes feeble excuses to spend a lot of time with you.
• It is obvious that he loves you when he cuts down on smoking because he knows that it bothers you.
• He loves you when he would make the effort to pick you up from work even after a long hard day at his own job.
• He loves you when he makes the effort to try to cook for you even if he has never entered the kitchen.
• You know that he loves you if he makes a lot of effort to do things that you like to do.
• He loves you if he tries to learn some things that you like doing.
• You know that he loves you if he would sit and watch chick flicks with you even if he loathes Julia Roberts.
• You know that he loves you if he would sit in boutiques watching you try out a thousand outfits and eventually paying for them.
• You know he loves you if he would try to get you things that he knows you love.
• It is obvious that he is in love with you if he would insist that you spend time with friends even if it is obvious that he wants to spend all the time in the world with you.
• It is obvious that he loves you if he would call you often to make sure that you are safe.
• He loves you if he would go out of his way to get you food you like to eat.
• You know that he loves you if he is not afraid to be affectionate in front of friends and family.
• You know he loves you if he takes the time to introduce you to his friends and family.
• It is obvious that he loves you if he would introduce the important things in his life to you, such as sports. That way he feels like you are a part of his life.
• He loves you if he shows you that he is proud of you and talks about you to his friends.
• He loves you if he is willing to apologize when if you are at fault, because he does not like arguing with you.
• You know that he loves you if he would sit with you while you are working just to spend some time with you.
• You know he loves you if he comes right over the moment he hears you are not feeling too well, even if it is only due to the pain of your monthly visitor.

There are many determinants as to how you can tell that a person loves you. These are not the only things that would tell you if he loves you or not. Love is something you can feel. You will know it when it comes. Listen to your intuition. It will tell you if he loves you or not. But also be wary. Because what you assume might not be true. So do not jump the gun if you feel some reservation as to whether he is indeed in love with you or not.


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How to know when to say I love you

Jun 06

So you have been seeing this guy for four months now. You know that you care deeply about him. you also feel that he cares deeply about you. In fact he already told you that he loves you so much. So is it time for you to tell him that you love him as well? are you sure that he will treat you well? or will he turn into a monster after you tell him you love?

Love

There are many uncertainties when it comes to love. You never really know if you are doing the right thing or merely using your heart and emotions to do something. You can also never be sure that you will be getting good out of the relationship. Many things can change in a short span of time. Nothing is ever certain. But if you really do love him, you have to take a leap of faith and let him know. If you take your time and do not actually tell him how you feel, you might eventually lose him because no one can wait for someone to let them know that they care as well. so how do you know if it is time for you to let him know how you truly feel about him? here are some indicators that it is indeed time for you to say the three magic words and let him know that you care as much for him:

• You can see a future with him.
• You are not afraid of the possibility of having and building a future with him
• You can see him as your husband
• You do not mind being his wife and looking after his needs
• You would love to have children with eyes like him
• You know information about his not so perfect past and yet you still care for him the same way. In fact you probably respect him even more because he actually told you about it.
• You feel so comfortable with him and feel that you can easily be yourself with him.
• He knows your hurts, fears and worries. He knows your deepest pains. He also knows the problems you have had in your past. And yet he still continues to love you and care for you.
• You feel this constant concern for you.
• You feel this sense of security that he gives you.
• He knows your family and they love him
• You have met some of his friends or family members and actually do not like some of them. But you still make an effort to meet up with them regularly because you know they are important to him.
• You do not like doing some of the things he does but you will because you know that he appreciates them
• You miss him a lot when you are not with him. but this does not mean that you cannot do work without him. you can function without him but you miss him.
• You would go out of your way to do things for him even if it means missing work.
• You would skip work because he has the sniffles
• You would think of his happiness when you used to only think about what would make you happy.
• You feel that he brings out the best in you.
• You feel that you would do just about anything for him
• You do not cringe when people start teasing him about him in your future
• You both actually talked about the future and you are fine with it
• You are making future plans with him in mind
• You feel that his love for you is steady and solid
• Other people can also feel his sincerity and his love for you. They will be a better gauge as they are more objective and can see things that you are probably too blinded to see.
• Your family totally approves of him and would not mind you ending up with him
• You accept his hang ups and flaws because they are a part of him.
• You both are so attuned to how you both feel and act

There are so many reasons as to why you need to tell your man that you love him. but bottom-line is, if you love him just let him know.


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