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Posts from October, 2009

What to Remember When Dating a Single Father

Oct 20

To women out there, it’s not just about the single mothers facing problems in the dating world, it’s the single fathers as well! A single father is faced with far more than a fulltime job to provide for his family, he is also faced with raising his children alone and making sure that he does it right. For the women out there dating single fathers, you may be in for a lot more than you expect. Aside from getting the father, you get all the kids too, so it’s better if you are well prepared for it – if you are willing to take it on of course. Here are a few things to remember when dating a single father:

Dating

  1. Is this right for you? Now that you know that he has one or more little tykes waiting for his attention at home, are you willing to be a part of a readily packaged little family? Being with a single dad requires more understanding on your part than on his. You have to remember that his world will revolve around his kids and he won’t be able to drop everything on a whim to come running to you when you are in an emotional crisis of your own. Be mindful that he has his own schedule that covers work, home, and his kids’ schedules and that he has no freedom to change any of it unless you give him at least 2 days notice.
  1. Be open-minded when dating a single father because you may run into situations that you are not used to. This may entail rushing to the hospital because of a child’s injury, staying home with a sick child and entertaining them to make them feel less miserable, or attending ball games and ballet recitals because it means so much to both father and child. It may be different, but try it out anyway and you may find that you’ll enjoy some of the activities that you get to do together.
  1. Don’t expect the kind of romance that you would have with a regular single man. A single dad has to think about raising his children and bringing home the bacon. Whether you fit into this or not may be entirely up to you and him. Plan weekends together where you would leave the kids with his parents and have the place to yourselves. Try to be the romantic one instead of expecting him to do it all the time. And when he does take the effort to send you roses or make you a home-cooked meal, this is a great sign that he is willing to do a lot to make things between you and him work out.
  1. Don’t force yourself on his kids. When you are first introduced to them, don’t expect them to like you straight away. Children get very suspicious of strangers who spend a lot of time with their parent. They feel threatened that you are imposing on their family time and that you might take their father away from them. Just go with the flow and don’t force the issue. Don’t try to be their mother by telling them to eat their vegetables or trying to discipline them. Instead, approach them as a friend and find out more about them as time passes so that you can understand their needs and feelings as well.
  1. Be open with your partner, the single dad, about the way that you feel about his children and how you can further nurture the relationship between yourself and him, and yourself and the kids. If you are concerned about any of his children’s needs that he has not spotted, let him know straight away. Sometimes it takes an outsider to see the real problems within a family. He will appreciate you voicing your concerns, but don’t give him any advice about it unless he asks.  You don’t want to undermine his parenting role.

The best thing that you will find out about your new partner is that many single dads make great parents. So when dating a single dad, look at the brighter side of it if you end up marrying, he’ll know how to raise your own children even better than you!


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Don’ts on a Date

Oct 19

Sometimes going out on a date with someone is uncomfortable or difficult at times. Without meaning to you sometimes feel nervous, stressful or even awkward because you don’t know what to avoid. Below are some of the tips on what to avoid saying during a date to ensure a comfortable and memorable day together.

Date

 Dress appealingly but comfortably. Making sure you are at ease with your clothes. Avoid wearing something to make you feel rigid or unsure of yourself. If you are going to put a perfume or cologne make sure to do in moderation. A delicate and faint scent is much better to smell and will leave a better impression.
 Your posture speaks for you. BE conscious of your posture. Sitting straight and alert will give good impression on your date.
 Avoid talking about previous relationships. Do not stray on the topic of how you were treated or how much you were hurt from your previous relationships. No one would like to hear someone talk about their past relationships and it isn’t that interesting topic to talk about. If you think you need to talk about it, just make sure them that you are now much better without it or that you already moved on with your life. Do not in any case find fault or condemn your past relationship on any reason.
 Express admiration or approval to your date. Make sure it is sincere and remark on something that she or he took time to prepare. Be honest with your compliment.
 Flirt a little but make sure you won’t overdo it. Avoid any impression of sexual advances.
 Don’t brag about yourself. You should make an effort on being interesting on your date and his or her hobbies or interests. Talking too much about you will create a negative impression to your date. Make sure to keep your answers modest. It is much better to let them make up their mind about you according to your actions.
 Make your date feel interesting and make yourself more appealing. Listen when your date is speaking avoid interrupting her or him.
 Keep your date light and enjoyable as possible. Be amusing and entertaining, people will love going out with you if they had a great time.
 Guys, if you are dating a particular girl, make sure to be active to raise her interest. Do not pass by a girl that might already be interested in you.
 Avoid ordering excessive alcoholic beverages. It is even better if you don’t drink on your first date. It is not nice to have a drunk as a date. And as a rule you should drink if you are driving either with or without a date.
 Avoid declaring an emotion of love on a first date. It will make you look as if you are in need. It might scare your date away for the reason that she never sees it that way for the two of you.
 Avoid talking about personal troubles such as money, family or health issues. Keep in mind that it not a therapy but a date.
 Be gay and happy. Do not dwell nor talk about depressing topics such as world events.
 Make sure to stick by your date. Do not go and meet your friends leaving your date alone. It is not a polite thing to do. Rather if you meet some friends, present them to your date and politely move on.
 If you are taking medications, do not take them in front of your date. Make sure to excuse and go to the restroom.
 Re-applying your make-up ladies is not an impressive thing to do on a dinner table. It is not endearing but rather is it rude. If you like to re-apply a make-up excuse yourself and go to the restroom.
 Keep away from doing uncivilized acts in front of your date such as blowing your nose, scratching, picking or adjusting.
 Do not make up information’s regarding yourself appear extraordinary. Always be honest and modest. If the made up facts came out it may mess up your odds for future dates.
 Show esteem to your attendants for the service they performed. Give them a tip. If you respect your attendants your date will show respect you too. But keep it on moderation. Fifteen to twenty percent of the bill is just the right thing.


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Dating Multiples

Oct 11

When you are out on the dating scene, it is not news that you get to date at least once a week. However, it should not be the case, when you date; it is more recommended that you date more than one person. It may be excessive to say that having a different date every night is good, but then, it is healthier. One frog is not necessarily the one that will turn into a prince or princess. Then, that is the reason why you should date more people.

Dating

• Go direct to the point. If you are not out to go steady yet, tell them that you are not yet ready to start anything serious. You would just be after having a nice company around, but is not yet about to jump into anything. If they can hold off and just have a nice time with you, you can probably see each other again. Your date would probably appreciate your honesty early on, if they do not, they are probably on the hunt of whoever comes along first.
• The dating places should be chosen very well, if you choose one place every time then you are bound to find some people you are dating or have dated recently. Make sure that you change the places from time to time. Sometimes a change in location would actually bring changes into the whole dating scenario. If it has been a while since you dated or had a contact that person who usually hangs in that area, then that is perfectly fine.
• When you also go to dates, make sure that you take note of their special locations. Say, your previous date mentioned his favorite hang out; make sure that on your next date, you are not going to go there. You would probably find them there, and that is something you probably do not want. At the same time, his would send them the signal that you were probably not listening to them when they told you that detail.
• Boundaries are something that you should also set for each date that you have. This would secure that both of you knows where what ends and starts. If you are not ready for real feelings yet, then do not lie about it. This is one pit fall that you can avoid if you are honest. With such, you should be aware where sex and feeling lie.
• Avoid leading anyone on. If it is over with them, tell them. Dating multiple people involves having to tell people when it is over. When you find one person that would be the match for you, then you should graciously thank your other dates and let them find their matches. There are some who would seem heartbroken, but there are some who understands would be genuinely happy for you. In case there is someone you would like them to date or meet, do not tell them on the same time that you tell them it is over. That would be like putting salt in the wound, no matter how small it is.
• When going for multiple dates, you should avoid double dating. Double dating means either meeting his friends or him meeting your friends. This might send a wrong signal. When you go double dating, there is a chance that he would have contact with your friends, they might try to squeeze in some information that you otherwise would not let him know. At the same time, his friends might also see you dating other people and tell him about it.
• Avoid introducing them to your parents. This act generally means that you are serious about your date. Reserve this for someone you have been steadily dating for a while now. Besides, it is wiser that you know everything first about your date before letting them meet your friends, let alone your parents.

In case you meet your date on an online dating service, make sure that you have their names correct. Dating multiple people has a tendency to make you mix their names. You should also make sure that you meet in a safe place, not too secluded. You can also tell some one that you are going out with this person and have them check on you on a specific time.


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What Your Boyfriend Won’t Tell You, But You Should Know

Oct 06

After you have started going steady with your boyfriend, you feel you know so much about him that you think you know how he thinks and feels about everything. But don’t get too confident about that because there are some things that a boyfriend will never tell you. This may sound bad, but then everyone is entitled to their own little thoughts and secrets that never have to be revealed. So, when you are with your boyfriend, here are some things that he won’t tell you but that you should probably know:

Boyfriend

• He wants to be exclusive, no matter how much you think he’ll wander off into another girl’s arms. Guys are similar to girls, they like to have an exclusive relationship where they can share their feelings with the other person and whom they can have a special bond with. Girls are fond of thinking that men like to jump from girl to girl, but this is not true in most cases. Guys honestly do want a nice healthy relationship just as much as you do.

• He’ll introduce you to his friends and he wants them to like you, but not fall in love with you. This is when you can assure him that you only have eyes for him, and not his friends. If his friends covet you, then that is their problem. There have been many instances when friends have stolen girlfriends away from good friends. When he introduces you to friends, be friendly but not sensual. Be decent by sticking by your man and keeping all your love and affection directed at him.

• When you are with someone already, stop playing hard to get when you are officially dating. He will just get tired of your games and start looking somewhere else where his attention is appreciated. So when he shows his affection, respond in kind and stop playing games.

• When he introduces you to friends, he doesn’t want you to love them so much that you will start hanging out with them without him. Don’t go out of your way to be too friendly with his friends and eventually making them buddies. You are not competing with him in terms of who gets more friends than the other. He also won’t appreciate you taking over his spot in his circle of friends it will just make him insecure that you are just as accepted on the same level as he is. Although it will come to this eventually, don’t force the issue and make extra efforts to get into his circle of friends right away. Let him have his friend time separately from his alone time with you. That way he can stay secure with himself and your relationship with him.

• He doesn’t want you to know details of him and his past girlfriends. Guys are very different from girls and reveal much less about themselves than girls often do. They are very uncomfortable about talking about previous relationships because honestly, they’d rather move on and focus on the current relationship with you. Neither do they want to hear you comparing them to old lovers either. This just makes them even more insecure and makes them feel that they have so much more to do before you can stop talking about these other guys that seem to occupy your mind.

• You may not believe this, but your guy is afraid that you will eventually dump him. You may think that it is something that is beyond their normal way of thinking, but yes, guys get insecure enough to be afraid that you will dump them and that they will be left alone again. They will never tell you of course because it sounds so petty and immature, but like girls, they have the same kinds of insecurities and fears that keep them worrying.

With this information you will realize that guys are just as soft and sensitive as any of us girls. So be sensitive to his needs and insecurities because now you know that he’s not part of the “usual” group of guys you keep hearing about and assuming that he’d be a part of.


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