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Posts from November, 2009

What to Do if You Want to Date a Single Mother

Nov 28

So, you are dating someone who already has kids, but is it a bigger deal than you think? Yes, it is. When a woman is a single mother, she cannot think only of herself but thinks for the benefit of two people, herself and her child. No matter what situation any mother is put in, her child will always come first, which is what men should know about them. So don’t expect them to be as spontaneous and carefree as single women, because they have their child’s best interest in mind all the time. The best thing that you can do is to be considerate of her situation and to take the following words of advice:

Date

• You have to be considerate of her time and schedule. Her daily routine will include work, household chores, and her child’s schedule as well. This includes picking up and dropping off children at school, babysitting them, feeding them, taking them to the doctor – it’s a 24/7 duty. So don’t expect her to drop everything when you plan something romantic in the spur of the moment. Give her at least 2 to 3 days notice to get her to spend some quality time with you so that you can give her a romantic surprise at the least worry and inconvenience.

• Think about yourself and your needs and goals. Do they fit in with hers and her child’s? Are you even willing to be a stepfather. Be clear with her about your interests and tell her to be clear about hers. As early as this you can prevent a lot of unwanted heartache when you find out, or when she finds out, that you are both not willing to compromise some things.

• If she is the perfect one for you, and her child isn’t such a brat after all, maybe you could consider trying out being a lover and a pseudo-father as well. Don’t expect to fit in the father role immediately; she shouldn’t expect that of you either. Just go with the flow, be open-minded, and see how comfortable it is for both of you. This also gives you a great opportunity to find out how you can deal with being a father.

• If you are ever given the opportunity to hang out with her and her kids, this is when understanding and patience will play the biggest role. The kids may not take to you immediately and may act stubborn and bratty. Don’t even attempt to discipline her kids or she may feel resentful towards you for not trying to understand her kids. If you feel that her discipline is too harsh, don’t stop her from disciplining them in the moment or she’ll be angry with you for questioning her parenting skills. Bring up your concerns when both of you are alone and not in front of the children.

• Don’t expect to be spending nights with her under the same roof as her kids on any given night. Spending the night with her will either confuse or upset the children, especially if they don’t trust you yet. Be considerate of her needs though by planning a weekend where you hire a babysitter and the both of you can take a weekend alone together out of the city.

• Try not to buddy up with her kids by letting them eat snacks that are forbidden and offering gifts and treats just to make them like you. Mothers have a reason for keeping certain foods and treats away from their kids which has a lot to do with their health and well-being. Try to stick to her rules and implement them as much as you can when you are all together. She will really appreciate this effort and will see you as taking the extra initiative in respecting her feelings.

• Try your best to help out with household chores once in a while to help out the single mom. There is nothing sexier than a man who is willing to do your groceries or pick up your kids from school for you. Offer to babysit while she takes an afternoon off to spend at the spa. Let her know that you appreciate her role as a mother and would like to help out as much as you are able.


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Gestures: Make or Break?

Nov 22

If you want to know if your date is really having a nice time being with you, you can try reading their body language, and you would know for sure what they really think. Here are some telltale signs if they are enjoying your company or not.

Gestures

Check on the posture on the first few minutes of the date, your date is probably sitting tall and relaxed. If you catch them trying to sit up more than a couple of times, chances are they are beginning to be bored. If they are already slouching after an hour or so, then the date may not be as fun as they thought it would.

Eye-catching beauty is excellent but after a while you have to show that you are not all beauty and brawns. Now, if your date looks directly to your eyes, you may be having a very nice effect on them. Eye contact is a silent sign that they are not just interested in your looks but also what you have inside.

During dinner, you probably sit in front of one another. When sitting in front of one another and your date is constantly leaning forward to better hear what you are saying or to tell you some details then they are comfortable in talking to you and they do not consider you as a stranger anymore.

Physical contact is important. Holding hands is a pleasant sign that they are polite. Men may probably hold the elbows while escorting you. Women may also have some gestures of wrapping their arms around yours. Sometimes, a polite tap if they find what you are saying is amusing.

A palm out hand gesture is a sign that your date has a friendly atmosphere around them. They probably consider you as a friend by then. This gesture also shows that they are relaxed in talking to you. This gesture is usually seen to emphasize a strong opinion or something important.

While you are speaking, you might be wondering if they are listening. A casual nod would give out a sign that they are listening, you should also watch out for facial expression. Say, when you express delight, then they may also smile. They may also look serious in case you are telling them something solemn or so.

A person that has his or her attention on a certain person tends to unconsciously copy some of their gestures. One, they usually shift their seat when you do. Two, they probably have almost the same rate of speaking unless there is some conscious effort to speed up or slow down. Three, they may have the same breathing pattern or rate because of similar activities and movements. This gives you an idea whether your date is enjoying the conversation or not.

There are also some gestures that may indicate that your date is bored. If your date crossed their arms, then they are probably creating an invisible wall between the two of you. This is a defensive position whether sitting or standing.

If your date is constantly suppressing yawns, then they are either bored or just did not get enough sleep because she was thinking of you, just hope that it is the latter. Yawns are usually if they do not find your stories interesting enough or your jokes funny enough.

A nod that does not really have a cue means that they may not really be listening to what you are saying. They are just too polite to interrupt you or to change into another topic. This is also true if you notice too much nodding, they are probably already shaking their head to keep from falling asleep.

If your date already noticed that the table on the right has a different table napkin fold than that in your left – they are bored. When the noticed that the ceiling is actually made of wood or when your date is laughing at the loud joke from the other table. If they keep looking at everything else, except you, you might want to worry.

Personal distance is necessary for newly met individuals. Your date may not be always at your side but is within an easy arms reach; this is a ‘to make’ sign. However, observe if they keep too much distance from you – gesture that is ‘for the break’.


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End your Date

Nov 12

Ending a date can be uncomfortable or can be exciting. Should you kiss her good night? Did she find you attractive enough to give her phone number to you? What will enter his mind if you ask him in? If the date has turned out sourly or you have certainly made up your mind that you do not find him or her interesting, is the conclusion of your date the suitable time to convey this or must you simply keep away from answering their calls and act as if you have gone off the earth? How can you be considerate to your date’s feelings and at the same time end the date? The solution to this circumstance is honesty with a touch of a little consideration. Nobody’s feeling has to be hurt. This predicament is in fact quite easy if you will do this simple guideline below.

Date

• If you are certain that you didn’t enjoy the date, you may opt to end the date prematurely by making up a white lie regarding a necessary phone call, meeting or an appointment that you need to attend. Your companion will most likely not be fooled and will be aware of what you want to say, plus will be grateful to you for sparing his or her feelings. It would be much better if you could just be nice and honest and show that you do not believe you make a perfect match that you did have an enjoyable date but in spite of this you don’t feel any connection or chemistry.
• By no means should you allow your date to suppose that there is more than meets the eye or that you can offer more than there actually is. Do not be in the habit of keeping your options open with somebody you do not mean to call back. It is better to end a date than to continue on hanging someone for days or weeks afterward. You should not mislead your date’s hope up.
• If you enjoy your date’s company, tell him or her. You do not have to be specific but you do not have to be shy either. If you had a great time with their company be confident and straightforward and let them know that you are looking forward spending more opportunity with their company soon. If it is possible to set up your second date during this stage of your date, do so, just make sure that you are into them. Nobody wants to be let down or be deceived.
• On the flip side you should not attempt avoiding hurting someone else’s feelings by feigning you are into him or her. If you enjoy his or her company but don’t wish to date them once more it is better to allow things that way.
• Keep things between the two of you casual, relaxed and fun and if you sense that she or he is not interested then try to maintain the relationship optional and open-ended. In this way, your companion will still have the opportunity to reconsider.
• The guy on the date should ensure that the girl is safely tucked in her car or to a taxi cab and don’t make the girl feel any demands at all. The girl should ensure she feels at ease with this set up. If the girl however chooses to see herself to her car or a cab then go on, do it.
• And lastly but possibly the most controversial, don’t attempt to propose friendship as an alternative. It is a date and it is based on romance. In the end you will discover friends in various places, but one ought to take a date as the chance to put romance as their priority.

Bear in mind that a date is a gradual process. Every first date can be a chance to either build up the relationship or cut on your losses and find another. So take actions accordingly.

Dating is in fact strike or miss. For those who are dating, you need to accept the good as well as the bad. Not all date is a hit and not all relationship you begin will eventually end up in marriage. If you’re into dating, the one important thing you ought to know is ending a date.


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What to Do when Dating a Very Attractive Woman

Nov 08

There are times in your life, and to your surprise, that you find yourself in a situation when you have asked a very attractive woman out and she has said yes! So now that the hardest part is over, the even harder part is, how do you make yourself attractive to this already very attractive woman? Many guys get intimidated by attractive women because they feel that they are shooting too high if they even think of asking them out. So they are just content to blend in with the background and just look at her. Eventually, they think that a much more attractive and confident man will ask her out.

Dating

But wouldn’t it be nice if you could take on the role of the confident and attractive once in a while? In fact, when you see some guys who date great looking women, you wonder how they even got her in the first place. They don’t look that handsome and sometimes don’t even care about their appearance. How do they do it? It’s not so difficult, just look at yourself and find out what needs improvement. Here are a few tips on what to do when dating a very attractive woman:

1. She said yes to you when you asked her out, so just continue what you’re doing! In other words, just be yourself! If this attractive lady saw something in you that made her even consider saying yes, then there must be something about you that attracts her to you. It is a myth that all attractive women are asked out all the time. In fact, many attractive women find it lonely because men feel too intimidated to ask them out. It is refreshing to have a man ask her out, especially if he is just being natural and being himself.

2. Don’t be so nervous about approaching beautiful women. The problem with guys is that once they see a beautiful woman, they get nervous and tongue-tied and end up making fools of themselves. Just relax, treat her as you would do any other person, and have a little more confidence in yourself. It helps a lot to pay a little more attention to your own looks. Get a nice haircut before the date, wear something comfortable but up-to-date clothes, and definitely smell good. This way the woman will also know that you took the extra effort to be presentable for her.

3. Look at yourself and improve the way you look at yourself! In other words, build up your self confidence. If you look at yourself in the mirror and say “This isn’t the kind of guy girls would sleep with” then you will definitely become exactly that kind of guy! Try to think better of yourself and imagine yourself to be the kind of guy that girls go crazy over. Go out and get a makeover to make you feel even more confident. Again, be yourself, talk about things that interest you and not things your think would interest her. If you speak with confidence, it will unquestionably keep her attention and she will look at you as an attractive, confident and intelligent man who knows what he wants out of life.

4. Learn a few things like what to say and do to create some sexual tension between you and the attractive woman. It all lies in the way that you look at her, the way that you hold her hand, or even the way you act like a gentleman. Most women will judge a man on the first date by the way he treats her. So open up doors for her. When crossing the street, keep your hand on the small of her back to guide her. When in crowds, put your arm around her to keep people away and to make her feel safe. Let her order first and always be polite to the restaurant waiters and service people. These are small things that she will note and admire if you pull them off just right. Learn how to compliment her and make her blush. This will definitely create the sexual tension that you need for the evening.


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