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Posts from January, 2010

Dealing with Your Children When You Start Dating Again

Jan 29

After becoming single again and being able to keep all your kids with you, you look forward to busier days and nights attending to your kids needs. This will take up most of your time and will be a fulltime job. However, once you get used to the daily grind, you will have to start looking at things that interest you, which may include finding a new partner. Once you find someone new, you may be faced with the dilemma of wanting him to meet your kids or not. If you are faced with this, heed these words of advice to make you decisions much easier:

Dating

1. Make sure that you keep the time with your kids separate from the time that you spend with your new love interest. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, make it clear to him that you need time with your kids to make them comfortable with the idea that she is dating someone who is not their father. If you mix up the children and lover times, your children will feel unhappy and may hate this new person from intruding on their time with their mother. You may also be putting your partner in an awkward situation if your kids openly resent him. Keep the time separate for now until you feel it’s time to take a step up.

2. When you are sure that the person that you are dating has the potential to be a long-term partner and who is interested in meeting your children, then maybe it is time to let them all meet. Don’t expect this moment to come up within the first 6 months of the relationship, sometimes it will take over a year before you actually introduce them. Be mindful that your children may not take to your partner immediately and may feel uncomfortable or even threatened by him at first. But as time goes by, let him spend a little more time with the kids and for sure they will warm up to him eventually. And be honest with your kids about who this person is. By lying to them, he will only be a target of more of their resentfulness when they find out the truth. Slowly introduce him into the family routine and activities so he becomes more familiar with their and your needs. This way, the children will build up the trust they have in him gradually and comfortably before finally accepting him fully. But don’t expect it to happen overnight, so be patient and understanding with them

3. Don’t let your partner ever sleep over while your kids are around. This will only confuse them and they will suddenly be exposed to the sexual and intimate part of your life. Kids are very observant about these things so don’t underestimate them. Instead, plan a weekend away from home for you and your partner to enjoy together alone while your mother stays home with the kids. It is understandable that both of you have your basic needs in strengthening the relationship, just don’t do it in front of the kids.

4. As your partner is introduced to your children, try to set up a regular routine that your partner can be a part of so that the kids get used to it. For instance, he can be the one to either pick up or drop off your kids at school every day. Or he can join you and your kids for dinner every Friday and after that enjoy a movie night with everyone in the evening. Once a month you can even have your partner organize a nice family-friendly activity, like going to an amusement park or going to the beach. This way the children can also look forward to fun things that your partner can enjoy with them, and it’s a great way for them to get to know him better.

But while you are not dating yet, be sure that your life at home is stable enough for your children before you decide to tend to your own romantic needs. Being a parent is a 24/7 job which requires much of your attention to let them grow into healthy and emotionally intelligent kids. Build and heal your own life at home first so that you can later start dating without the guilt and hassle of an unstable home life.


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Inexpensive Dating Ideas

Jan 18

You do not need to burn a hole in your wallet to have a wonderful date. All it takes to have a reasonably inexpensive date without compromising romance is some ingenuity and planning. No matter what you choose to make on your date, always discover cheaper option. Dating need not be based on how costly you splurge or which impressive restaurant you take your date to, dating is about a couple using some worthwhile time together trying to learn about one another. It is a matter of choosing a variety of inexpensive ways to fascinate and amuse your date without spending your savings. Most people are inclined to think that they ought to impress their date with money, although in truth, their date most probably value caring gesture and actions more.

Dating Ideas

There is numerous money-saving means to have a fanciful date without going through excessive spending. The following are some tips for a low cost date which varies from being completely free to being quite low cost.

• You do not need to go out to relish your date or to get acquainted. You can rent your favourite movies and watch them at home. It is more comfy compared to going to cinemas. You can get popcorn and cuddle up on the couch. You will also enjoy a private time together.
• Cooking dinner at home is an impressive substitute to going out. Dining at home can assure your date of excellent service, and you can even play your favourite music. You also get to impress your date of your culinary skill when you eat at home.
• If you don’t possess culinary abilities, then get store-bought or takeout food. Store-bought dishes may be inexpensive or expensive depending on how you want it. Sharing your favourite dish or something entirely different with another can be pleasant.
• If you really want to go to a restaurant for a date, try going out during lunch as an alternative of dinner. A number of restaurants provide special offers or inexpensive meals during lunchtime. You could try a pub as an alternative where you can find cheaper lunch food than that of a restaurant.

• Lots of museums or art galleries are inexpensive or free. You may wander and look around gazing at exhibits. This will allow you and your date to talk about something throughout the visit and after.
• Carry a picnic hamper with you then go to the nearest park. Place some snacks and sandwiches together, pour some wine or champagne and charm your date while basking in the outdoors.
• Watching either a sunrise or sunset is another romantic way to get to know each other. Lookout towers are perfect for this, but be sure not to be locked in especially if it has an entrance gate.
• Gazing at stars lets you enjoy the cool night breeze. The rural area is an idyllic place for stargazing because there are few lights. Just make sure you have with you your constellation book. Nothing could be very romantic than that of stargazing with your special someone.
• If you are into nature, why don’t you give bird watching a try? Be sure to bring your bird watching accessories like binoculars and book to help you recognize the diverse assortment of birds.
• A trip to the beach is reasonably inexpensive and is a great means to become intimately acquainted with someone. You may end up with little or no expenses, depending on parking and location. You can either pack a lunch and a rug to sit on or buy some food that will cost a little extra. You can enjoy many activities while at the beach. You can enjoy the water by swimming, collect shells, build sandcastles, you can also try to bury each other on the sand, or just sit and relax while enjoying the fresh breeze and the beautiful sunset.

No matter what activities you choose to carry out on your date, keep in mind that you can enjoy each other’s company while spending less. It is important to set up your date and be mindful of those hidden expenses.

Dating ought to build up a relationship while sharing special moments with each other. These ideas will aid you in creating unforgettable and long-lasting thoughts about each other within a reasonable budget.


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Handling a Blind Date

Jan 05

If your friends and family someday set you up on a blind date, do not be furious. Take that as a consent which is genuine and is a sign that too long you have been a bachelor. If you decided to go on a blind date, this article has the tips for you to handle and survive a blind date.

Blind Date

It will take you a lot of foolhardiness to reserve a table in a French restaurant with a fancy, five- course meal when you don’t have the idea if you will be the least attracted to your blind date, and much less if the both of you will have anything to talk about for two hours straight. Why not try arranging a quick “hit-and-run” style of date rather than subjecting yourself to a slow form of torture. You, as well as your potential soul mate will be relieved, are the odds. You’ll find out how to set up a “hit-and-run” style of date by just reading this. Follow the steps, then you’ll succeed.

Your first blind date should not be a pressure to you. Just take it easy and consider it as a night out with your friend. Remember not to put too much hope of finding the perfect woman in your life on that first date. Doing this will ease your disappointment once you get to meet her and find out that she is beyond your expectations. There are things you have to prepare and plan before hand. You should prepare what you have to do first, what and where to do activities, what to do and what to say, what if it goes well and if it doesn’t.

You should first introduce yourself as the matchmaker’s friend or relative. After that, you can ask her what she enjoys doing. You should always have on hand several suggestions. In doing activities, ask her to play pool table. If she couldn’t play, that is perfect, tell her that you’ll be glad to teach her. There are lots of activities that will make both of you comfortable with each other. In asking questions, do not ask questions that are too personal.

The first step is for you to establish how much potential your date has. If you’ve got a feeling that the lady you’re set up with, may in fact be your soul mate, then, give her the red-carpet treatment by all means. But if someone, or your mom insists to meet her friend’s daughter, but you don’t like her in the first place, then you owe yourself to make the date as painless as possible.

Next, you should have the logistics be figured out. The person you are meeting, ideally lives somewhere in your general vicinity. It is great if the two of you will meet casually at a prearranged location. It is easy to arrange a hit and run date if you live or work relatively close to one another. The next thing to do is to decide on a time and location. The two ideal locations for hit and run dates are at a coffee joint, and in a homey or low- key neighborhood dive. If the point is to spare yourself to a protracted and uncomfortable meal, you will invite your date to meet her for coffee in the early afternoon which means after lunch or for a quick drink after work, meaning before dinner.

Leave some flexibility for yourself. It is possible that you and your blind date will surely hit it off despite your instincts to the contrary. If this case happens, the both of you can both laugh about how you afraid you were to commit yourself to a full meal. You can either hang out for the rest of the afternoon together, or you can go somewhere for dinner.

If it goes well at the end of the date, you both will have a mutual interest. If you had a great time with her, let her know and ask her if she wants to go out again next week and that you will give her a call. And if it doesn’t go well, tell her you had a great time and that it is nice to meet her. There is no need to be harsh.

You should not be afraid to vanish into the night. If you have confirmed your worst fears, you should make a conversation that is pleasing with your blind date for half an hour or so. Then, tell her that you have to go back to work, or you have lots of things to do like feeding your cat or take care of your baby sister. Your blind date may exactly feel the same way you do. Now, both of you can part amicably and never see each other again.

Hopefully this article has helped you if you wish to set up a hit-and-run blind date.


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Things You Should Not Do on a First Date

Jan 05

You are about to go out on a first date with someone you really like, but you’re not sure what to expect. The best thing to do is to prepare yourself with tips on what you should not do so that your first date doesn’t turn into a disaster. Several people were asked about what girls or guys should avoid doing when they go out on their first date with someone. Here are some tips on first date DON’Ts:

First Date

• You are out to have fun, so whether you are out after a big break up or not, don’t make the first date all about making you feel better. The worst thing you can do is turn your first date into a therapy session where you tell your date your problems, ask him for advice, or pile your frustrations about life on him. Do less talking and more listening if you want to get your date’s attention. Further, don’t psychoanalyze your date. If you think you are doing him a favor, you’re just making things worse by trying to figure out the source of his insecurities.

• It’s a first date, lighten up and don’t make everything too personal. It is too premature to let him know too much about you, like how many kids you want if you marry or what kind of wedding you hope for. In other words, don’t get ahead of yourself by expecting that this date will lead to the wedding of your dreams!

• Never talk about your ex! This first date is about you and him and not people from your past. Live for the moment, enjoy each other’s company and don’t dwell on problems that you can put on the shelf just for the night.

• Don’t wear anything too revealing or sexy. Wear something attractive, comfortable and practical. You never know where he will take you or where you will end up. The best thing is to dress for comfort so you can focus on each other rather than the blister developing in your heel because of your overly high-heeled pumps. You also wouldn’t want him looking at parts of you and thinking of sex rather than sincerely listening to you and enjoying your company and personality.

• Guys, don’t bring your date to a place where you know there will be a lot of hot women around. The pretty girls will keep you distracted and you will only make your date more insecure about how she looks, or how she thinks she should look for you. Find a place where the conversation and eye contact remain within the radius of you and the girl you are with.

• Avoid drinking on a date so that you can stay focused. If you have a drink, limit it to a glass of wine or one beer, just enough for you to lighten your mood. Don’t drink too much because you might end up in an embarrassing situation that will ruin any hope of you ever seeing each other again after the first date.

• Don’t talk about sex on a first date. If you initiate the topic, chances are all he’ll think about is either getting you in bed or escaping from you at the end of the night. Talking about sex is distracting and may even make the other person uncomfortable. Make your first date about having good clean fun before you decide on another date where you can think about bringing things further.

• If you have been doing research on him throughout the week on the internet, don’t let him know it! He may think you are some kind of weird online stalker. Let him bring up things about himself on his own instead of creeping him out by commenting on his interests that you read on his Facebook page. Pretend to be pleasantly surprised and let him talk more about himself so he can feel more comfortable.

• If you find that this first date is not working out, don’t be afraid to cut it short. Never let him take you to another location to continue the night if you know you are really not enjoying yourself. By letting him take charge of the night, despite your discomfort, you will end up putting yourself in a situation that may blow up into something worse.


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