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Posts from June, 2010

How to Avoid Fights

Jun 16

Fight

relationships are beautiful things. It is so nice to love someone and have them love you back. But it cannot always be rosy. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. You both are very different people who have different ideals and ways of doing things. There is bound to have some friction that would cause some problems. You both are bound to have some arguments or even fights because of your differences. But it is not always good to fight. Talking is necessary but unless there is no other way to sort something out other than by shouting at each other on the top of your lungs, then try out a different solution. It is never good to scream and fight. It will only build up the tension and resentment for one another. So here are some ways to avoid getting into fights with your significant other:

• when you feel that the conversation is getting a bit too intense, keep quiet. Make the conscious effort to just keep your mouth shut. It is always good to win a battle. But remember you do not want to win the battle and lose the war. Let things simmer down.
• Take a breather if you need to. If you are fighting, let it go for the moment.
• Take a deep breath. It would help you calm down and focus on something else.
• Make sure that you do not scream at each other. This will even aggravate the matter even more.
• Get out of the vicinity. Distance yourselves away from each other. You will be so tempted to say something hurtful if you are together.
• Think about the situation before talking about it. You need to assess how you feel about the matter.
• Give yourselves space. If you are mad at each other, do not meet for the meantime. Allow yourselves to think about the matter at hand and try to think of a solution.
• Think back to the conversation. Think of the reason as to why you guys fought in the first place. it could have been your fault. It could have been his fault. But there is definitely some problem at hand. So determine what the problem is.
• Ask your friends and family for their opinion. They will be able to tell you if you are acting irrationally or reasonably. That way you will know how to phrase your words carefully.
• Make sure that you think about what to say. Do not just spout off like a geyser. This will not work. You need to make sure that you will be saying something substantial that will not irk him and aggravate the matter.
• Let him know that you want to talk to him. be honest about how you feel. But do not put the blame on him. he will get defensive and another fight will happen all over again. Let him know that you felt that way and let him know why you felt that way and what actions of his led you to feel this way.
• Listen to his explanations. Do not be defensive and just blame him. he has his own reasons for acting that way towards you.
• Make sure you both listen to each other. It always helps when you are both making the effort to talk to each and listen.
• Do not scream at each other. Keep your temper in check. It is so easy to just rant and cry but this would not work. the other party would just more annoyed and the fight will just continue on.
• Do not let your angry feelings stay on for too long of a period of time. It is not healthy and the bad feelings will just eat you up.
• Ask each other what you both can do to remedy the situation. Compromise is the key to making the relationship to work out. You both must meet halfway and try to find middle ground.
• Act out on those things you both suggested for your relationship. If he wants you to lessen the nagging, make a conscious effort to lessen the nagging. If she wants you to stop drinking every night, then lessen the drinking sprees to perhaps thrice a week or four times a week.

Relationships are never easy. But by avoiding full blown fights, it makes things easier. Talking about the problem always helps. So do more of this and keep the relationship longer.


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How to Let Him Know that You Like Him

Jun 12

you have been consistently going out on dates with this guy. You are starting to like him very much. He has all the qualities that you like in a guy. But you are not sure if he is as into you as you are into him. so how do you let him know that you like him very much so he can make the next move and bring it to a deeper level? Here are some ways as to how you can let him know that you like him very much:

Introduce

• be a bit more responsive. You do not need to always wait for him to hold your hand or stroke your arm. You can do a little bit of arm stroking. Do not just grab his hand and place it in yours. But hold his hand longer than you usually do.
• If you feel that he is moving too slowly, you can hold his hand. So it does not seem so obvious, do this when you are watching a scary movie. Though it is a cliché, there is nothing like a scary movie to bring out the gentleman in the man.
• Send him text messages that show him you care for him. they do not need to be very sweet messages. But just let him know that you care for him and are concerned for him.
• Make the effort to always look good for him. he will notice the change in you and appreciate the effort you make for him.
• Compliment him. make him feel like the best man in the world.
• Give him hugs. Guys like girls who can show their affection. You do not need to hug him all the time. This will make him think that you are an easy catch. But the occasional hug would make him know that you like him to some extent to let him hug you.
• Talk about things that are dear to your heart. It could be some problem you have or something you want to change in your life. he will greatly appreciate you telling this to him. he will feel like an important part of your life to be told something like this.
• Let him know that he is important to you. Tell him occasionally that you love his presence in your life and that you would not know what to do without him.
• Call him some terms of endearment. They do not have to be blatant that other people know you like him a lot. but they can be something simple like Dear. This could mean that he is a dear friend or something more than that.
• Be sweet to him. this could be something as simple as asking how his day went and listening to him talk or by getting him food on your way to meet him because you know he will be hungry by then.
• Let other people know that you like him. do not be so blatant about it. But let others know that you do like him. somehow the word would get back to him and he will make a move if he feels that you will respond positively.
• Go out with him on dates. If he invites you out alone on a date, do not hesitate to go out with him. But do not make yourself too available. You would not want him to think that you are easy to get.
• Spend time with him as a group with your friends. this way he would know that you also know how to have a life and your life would not revolve around him.
• Give him a call from time to time. Ask him how he has been or tell him a funny story. This will let him know that you remembered him and are thinking of him.
• Watch a movie together. This is one sure way to let someone know that you like them. No one would watch a movie alone with someone they did not like.
• Bake him cookies or cook for him. the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This has been proven throughout the years and your guy is no exception. Every guy loves a domesticated woman who can be a potential wife.

it is important that you let him know that you are really into him so that he would make a move. Otherwise he might get another message and just pursue someone else.


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Making a Long Distance Relationship Work

Jun 12

Being far away from the one you love is never an easy thing. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, which is true, but what do you do in before then? There are a number of reasons why you end up in a long distance relationship. Many couples meet each other while on holiday and end up having to maintain a relationship across states or countries. Another couple might be forced to live apart because the job of one of them takes him far away from his usual home base. No matter what the reason is, couples are faced with having to deal with love over long distances. So how does one keep the love alive when they are so far apart?

Relationship

• Have regular meetings that will bring you together. Whether it is once a week or even just once a month, planning to be together will help you give your relationship the time and attention that it needs. Keep the real connection between the two of you by meeting to touch, feel and talk to your loved one. Nothing beats good old-fashioned human contact.

• Take advantage of advanced communications to keep in touch and maintain the connection. There are several ways to do it, like through Skype, Yahoo Messenger, Voice-over IP, and even your social networking sites like Facebook and Friendster. Write each other emails and posts videos for each other about things that you think the other would enjoy. The best part about living today is now a message can be delivered instantly in a few seconds unlike the past where it took days or weeks.

• Send each other actual written love letters once in a while. A postcard or greeting card will also do. Writing actual letters in long-hand is still a very romantic way of sharing your feelings and letting the other person know that you took time and effort in actually writing a letter. Splash some of your own perfume on the paper especially for him. Later in life, when you are old and married you can look back to those letters and have great mementos to remind you of your special bond.

• Learn to trust your partner and have faith that he is being true in your relationship. The worst part about being jealous is that once it rears its ugly head, it makes both parties insecure and is the source of destruction for the relationship if it cannot be avoided. By trusting your partner, you give him the space he needs to grow as an individual and he will know that you understand him and trust his actions.

• Take a day off every week from communicating with each other and focusing only on yourself. On this day, go out with friends or enjoy a day of relaxation at the spa. By giving yourself your day off you can put your relationship to test and see if having a little time off will make either of you more or less uncomfortable.

• When you have your day off, don’t go out and put yourself in a situation that will tempt you to cheat. On your day off, avoid going out with a mixed group of people, instead let it just be a night for the girls. Don’t go to wild parties or mixers or you may regret it by the end of the night.

• Before you part talk about your partnership and what you hope to accomplish with this long distance relationship. If you both have goals to be together in the end, you can both have set goals that you can work on to make the relationship stronger. By keeping focused, you will find that the long distance part of your relationship will be over in no time and you’ll be reaping its benefits together.

• Be honest with one another. The more you lie about what you do when you are not with your partner (especially if you lie just to avoid petty jealousy), the more you will end up slipping and reinventing more lies to cover up old ones. Just be honest and trust that your partner will understand whatever your decisions and activities may be.


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