Search

Rss Posts

Rss Comments

Login

 
payday loans

Posts from July, 2010

How to Fix The Relationship After He Cheated

Jul 21

you have been together with your man for three years already. It feels like forever. You know him so well. you know what he likes and what he does not like. You even know how he feels like even if he does not tell you about it. You believe that you are soul mates and are destined to be together forever. But then somehow you feel that there is something wrong. You cannot put your finger on it. He is still the same. But there is something amiss about the whole thing. You just do not know what it is.

Cheat

then you start to see some changes in him. they are actually rather small changes but then they are rather strange. He does not call you as much anymore as he used to do before. You chalk this up to the rut that people in relationships go through when they are together for a long time. But then the sweetness he used to show all the time is waning. Is this still that rut? You prod and find that he has another girl on the sly. It turns out he has been going out with someone else while you have been loyal to him. but he has asked for your forgiveness and you decided to give it a shot. You decided to try to work on the relationship despite the fact that he cheated on you.

Here are some tips on how to work on the relationship after finding out about someone who cheated on you:
It is going to be very difficult. Expect there to be a lot of tension.
For the cheating party, make sure that you go out of your way to appease the hurt party. You were the one who made a mistake so you need to make sure that you would make it up to her.
For the hurt party, try to accept that it is part of the past. Try to forgive your partner.
Talk about the issue. There must have been a problem which would bring your partner to cheat on you. Talk about what happened.
Listen to each other. For the hurt party, listen to your partner. Get his or her opinion so you guys can make your relationship better.
Work on it wholeheartedly. Put full effort to make it better.
Find out the things that you both do not like about the relationship. Make a list of the things you do not like. That way you both would know what you both need to work on.
Meet halfway and compromise. Try to understand each other. Understand what the other is trying to say.
Be open to some change in the relationship. You need to be open changing some things in your relationship if you want something to work out in the long run.
Talk about it. You need to both make sure that you make the time to talk about things at all times. You need to talk about the infidelity. But after this, do make sure that you talk about any problem that might arise along the way. There would be instances wherein you will encounter problems. Nip them in the bud right away. Talk about them even before they blow out of proportion.
Make sure that you do not let the night pass when you have issues. Make sure that you talk about it right away.
Do not talk when you are both angry. Make sure that you both calm down and then talk about the matter bothering the both of you.
Do not keep in contact with the third party. This will cause a lot of tension and grief for your partner. The time will come when you might all be friends. but for now, do not risk it.
Do not bring up the topic anymore. Do not blame the person who cheated for cheating. There have been reasons as to why the cheating happened and you might have been one of the reasons. You both were in the relationship and you both have had your little faults. No use in bringing up the topic all the time. It will make the party that cheated feel even worse and might end up hating you in the end.
Let the past remain in the past. You can remind the cheating party from time to time. But do not use it as a weapon against him or her. It will backfire.
Do not try to do the same thing to spite your partner. It will not end well.

If you want to make it work, make some conscious effort to really try to make it work. otherwise do not even bother to make half hearted effort.


Tags:

How to Get Him to Propose to You

Jul 11

you have been going out with him for four years now. You have been steady sweethearts for the entire time. He knows your family very well and you know his family as well. you both have plans for the future together. Your future plans have included him. his future plans also have you in them. So what else is there left? You want to have his kids and you want to wake up beside him every day. but he has not yet proposed. so how do you get him to propose to you?

Propose

Here are some ways in which you can get him to propose to you:
• make sure that he is the right one. You need to be sure that you are barking up the right tree. You need to make sure that you are going to marry someone who is worthy of you. Think carefully if he has the traits that you would want in a partner. Think hard about your decision. If you feel that you both are good together, then maybe he may be the right one.
• Talk to your family members and your friends. ask for their opinion. They will be able to honestly tell you if he is good for you. Get their blessing for them. Get them to tell you if he is really good to become your husband in the future.
• Make sure that you make sure give him subtle hints. Talk about people getting married. When you pass by a jewelry store, take him to see the rings and comment on how nice they are.
• Talk to him about kids and families. tell him how you feel about families and kids. Get his reaction. It is important that both of you have the same ideals in terms of how you want to raise children and how you want to live your lives. It is essential that you both have the same priorities. If one of you places as the most important things in your lives then the other must also feel this way
• You both must agree on some sort of arrangement. Both of you cannot be working 24/7. This will be bad for the children. If one of you is not willing to lay back then it would be hard to raise a family.
• Talk to him about marriage. Ask him if he is open to get married. You both need to have the same ideas about marriage.
• If he has not proposed, find out why he has not proposed. find out what the reasons could be for him delaying the proposal. Perhaps he has some issues about getting married. Find out if he has any issues getting married. If his ideas of marriage are very different from yours, then maybe the match will not be so good after all.
• If he is really taking too long, talk to him. tell him straight that you want to marry him. if he is not ready, then maybe it is time to take time apart. Let him know that you are not willing to wait for him forever to propose to you. He might never be ready and you cannot just wait forever for him.
• Take the time off to think about everything. Marriage is not something you need to rush into. Take the time to decide if you can really wait for him to propose.
• If he lets you know that he is not ready for such a commitment, then maybe it is time to rearrange your life as well. if you are ready for such a commitment and cannot wait for him to be ready, then you might want to move on with your own life. you cannot just sit pretty and wait for him to realize that he wants to marry you. If he is not ready, he probably would not be ready anytime soon.
• Give him an ultimatum. This might shake him up in order to get him to propose. But be careful with this move. There is a big chance that you might lose him if you use this road. But then take consolation that you would at least know if he is really serious about you in the first place.

Marriage is never an easy thing to enter. You cannot force it on someone. So if your man is not willing to commit and you are not willing to wait, then it might be good to call it a day.


Tags:
 
Close
E-mail It