Vanilla 1.1.5a is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

    • CommentAuthorAdmin
    • CommentTimeApr 5th 2009
     
    One of the most commonly-asked relationship questions is whether or not it is possible to be friends with an ex-partner. The answer to this question is…it depends upon the situation.

    Two people are likely to be able to be friends with an ex-partner if they were friends to begin with before dating. This is true even if the two people have already become sexually intimate.

    The reason why is because even if the relationship fails they have a foundation, a place to go back to. In fact, it is quite common for two people to consider having a relationship with one another and then realize they were definitely better off as friends.

    Aside from a short period of awkward-ness, those who were friends before becoming romantically and/or sexually involved are likely to remain friends after the break-up. This is also true of two people who started dating after being brought together base on a mutual interest. They always have the mutual hobby or sport to fall back upon if the relationship does not work out.

    The people who are least likely to be able to be friends after a relationship break-up are those who have left their partner for a good reason. Often times, those who were in an abusive relationship or in a relationship with a spouse who was unfaithful are unlikely to be able to be friends afterwards.

    It is only after a considerable amount of healing time and willingness of both parties to forgive that a friendship can be salvaged after a broken relationship. This may be necessary in some cases, especially when there are children involved.

    Otherwise, if hurt feelings are way too deep to repair (other than to simply make amends and move on) then there will be no chance of friendship. Usually in this case all that can be done is to accept that it was an unhealthy situation and to stay as far away from that person as possible.

    Other factors can affect the ability of two people to be able to be friends after a breakup. For instance, not taking enough time apart from one another to adjust to the change in relationship can affect your ability to be friends with an ex. Furthermore, continuing to have sexual relations with a former lover can cause great confusion.

    Therefore, if you want to remain friends with someone you just recently had a relationship with you have quite a bit to consider. First, you must decide how important it is for you to continue a friendship with that person. Then, you must decide on what terms you are willing to see that person.

    Finally, you need to make sure to avoid being trapped in a see-saw situation. Not having clear boundaries after a breakup can cause great pain, as a couple continues an on-again-off-again relationship pattern.

    Before considering a friendship with a former lover or spouse make sure you are over that person-at least enough to not go back to the relationship. If you are confident you can be friends with someone you were in a romantic relationship with it may benefit you in the long run.