Know When to Dump ‘Em-Ending a Bad Relationship

“Dumping” your partner is often something that is unfortunately done at the end of an unsatisfying or unfruitful relationship. It is also usually an act done in the event a person is abusive or untrustworthy to the extreme that there is no hope of relationship repair.

If you are not sure when to let go of a relationship these are signs to watch out for:

• You realize that you no longer know who you are. This often ends up happening in a relationship where you feel all of your decisions are being made for you. It also happens when your partner does not trust in your ability to make good judgment-even if you truly are capable of making sound decisions most of the time.

If you feel you have “lost yourself” it is a sign that you would be unhappy if you continue with this person. In this case, it is time that you let the person go.

• You cannot think of anything good about your partner.  If you absolutely cannot think of any good about your partner it is probably wise to decide to end the relationship. If you are not sure if you can think of any good about the person, consider writing down a list of the persons positive and negative qualities.

If it turns out you hate more about the person than you love about the person you are likely to be unhappy with that person in the long run. It is better to decide now before it’s too late-before you move in, get married, have kids, etc.

Even if you have made a more serious commitment, however, you may still decide you are better off not with that person. This is to your personal discretion.  

• You wonder most of the time if you could do better. Perhaps you have other dating opportunities and more often than not wonder if you would be better off with someone else. Perhaps you do not enjoy your time with your partner any more either. These are clear indications it is time to end it.

• You have nothing to talk about and have no common interests.  If you cannot carry on a conversation, or you find that the relationship is a bore it is probably not the right one for you.  This is especially true if you have absolutely no common interests.

• The partner does not suit you. Perhaps you are a very adventurous person and you like to travel, and your partner does not. You also might be more outgoing and want someone who will accompany you when you attend social functions. 

You also may want someone who is willing to be there for you and who is interested in you as much as in him or herself. If you find that the person you are with is not suitable for you it may be time to let that person go so you can meet someone who is.

• The relationship is destructive.  If your partner is abusive, a drug addict, an alcoholic or just plain cold-hearted it is probably not a good relationship. You will want to find someone who is capable of giving you the love you need, and of giving you respect.

• You no longer trust the person, or love the person. This may be the case when a person has repeatedly let you down, cheated on you too often, or any number of things. If this is the case it is time for you to get out, and meet someone who you can trust, and someone with whom you can have a mutually-loving relationship.

This is not necessarily a complete list of ways to know that you need to dump your partner. Also making the decision to dump your partner is not one to be taken lightly, especially if you have made a long-term commitment with that person.  However, if you feel you have exhausted all options it is time to show some tough love and to say goodbye.

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