A Guide in Dating Writers
Writers are enigmas most of the time. They have an attractive aura, yet hard to figure out. If you plan to date a writer, take note of that person’s little qualities that may pose a challenge for you. As they have their own quirks, since it is not exactly an orthodox occupation, you may have to adjust to that person’s way of doing work. Adapting to that person may take time, but it is entirely possible.
The biggest thing to remember is that when you’re dating a writer, he/she will not necessarily adjust his/her work schedule to match yours. Unless he/she has flexibility in his/her line of work, he/she needs a set time for working on his/her writings. For some, it may be of habit, while others just feel more comfortable and inspired at certain times. As far as it goes, his/her work days are off limits. Know when his/her free times are and adjust to them so that you may actually have time to date and interact.
Privacy is a big thing for writers since the process of writing something takes both time and mental energy. Each writer has his/her own way of doing things, and it may not be a good idea to assume things when it comes to his/her habits and methods. If you want to read his/her new work, you may not get to do so immediately, having to wait until it is finished. Sometimes, there are those who actually ask for other people’s opinions, but not all writers are like that. The important thing here is to not force that person to show something. Give him/her time and space to work, then perhaps he/she might want to show you later on.
Prepare yourself for some unusual dates that may not exactly strike your fancy, but may be quite interesting. A lot of times, writers need to do some research, a lot of them being in unusual locations that you may never even heard of. An open mind is key here, and it just goes to show that the world is a big and wonderful place indeed. Sharing these experiences will do a lot in becoming more comfortable with each other.
Writers deal with tight deadlines that may short most people’s circuits. It is important to remember that when you are dating a writer, you are also dating her deadlines. Do not be surprised if she suddenly cancels a date in the last minute or lock herself up in her room for days at a time as she may be trying to finish a piece. A writer’s life is never sure, right from her income to whatever he/she is writing about at any given moment. Be prepared for some unexpected circumstances during your time with him/her.
It is common for writers to ask other people for opinions and feedback on their writings. You must take note of what kind of feedback he/she is asking for. Make sure that you know what he/she is asking for, whether just a confirmation of how good or bad it is, what can be added or removed, or just some ideas on how to improve it. A lot of writers are sensitive, and you may not want to hurt those feelings with a criticism too harsh for him/her. Tread lightly when it comes to these things so that you do not screw up.
Remember that writers are generally not good at talking. There is a reason why they got into writing in the first place, and you must understand this will an open heart. Finding that balance with each other means that you must learn about his/her likes and dislikes in a very careful fashion, as he/she may not tell. With writers, it is all about comfortable silence. Help him/her through this with great care, and he/she may learn to become more comfortable with you.
There are plenty more things that you can do to successfully date a writer, but the important thing to remember is that they are mostly different from others who have normal jobs. Writing is a profession that is definitely easier said than done. Quite an underestimated line of work, writing is only funny when you are not doing it yourself. The deadlines and guidelines to each project strains writers in different way, a lot of them being in unusual locations that you may never even heard of. An open mind is key here, and it just goes to show that the world is a big and wonderful place indeed. Sharing these experiences will do a lot in becoming more comfortable with each other.