What to Do if You Want to Date a Single Mother
So, you are dating someone who already has kids, but is it a bigger deal than you think? Yes, it is. When a woman is a single mother, she cannot think only of herself but thinks for the benefit of two people, herself and her child. No matter what situation any mother is put in, her child will always come first, which is what men should know about them. So don’t expect them to be as spontaneous and carefree as single women, because they have their child’s best interest in mind all the time. The best thing that you can do is to be considerate of her situation and to take the following words of advice:
• You have to be considerate of her time and schedule. Her daily routine will include work, household chores, and her child’s schedule as well. This includes picking up and dropping off children at school, babysitting them, feeding them, taking them to the doctor – it’s a 24/7 duty. So don’t expect her to drop everything when you plan something romantic in the spur of the moment. Give her at least 2 to 3 days notice to get her to spend some quality time with you so that you can give her a romantic surprise at the least worry and inconvenience.
• Think about yourself and your needs and goals. Do they fit in with hers and her child’s? Are you even willing to be a stepfather. Be clear with her about your interests and tell her to be clear about hers. As early as this you can prevent a lot of unwanted heartache when you find out, or when she finds out, that you are both not willing to compromise some things.
• If she is the perfect one for you, and her child isn’t such a brat after all, maybe you could consider trying out being a lover and a pseudo-father as well. Don’t expect to fit in the father role immediately; she shouldn’t expect that of you either. Just go with the flow, be open-minded, and see how comfortable it is for both of you. This also gives you a great opportunity to find out how you can deal with being a father.
• If you are ever given the opportunity to hang out with her and her kids, this is when understanding and patience will play the biggest role. The kids may not take to you immediately and may act stubborn and bratty. Don’t even attempt to discipline her kids or she may feel resentful towards you for not trying to understand her kids. If you feel that her discipline is too harsh, don’t stop her from disciplining them in the moment or she’ll be angry with you for questioning her parenting skills. Bring up your concerns when both of you are alone and not in front of the children.
• Don’t expect to be spending nights with her under the same roof as her kids on any given night. Spending the night with her will either confuse or upset the children, especially if they don’t trust you yet. Be considerate of her needs though by planning a weekend where you hire a babysitter and the both of you can take a weekend alone together out of the city.
• Try not to buddy up with her kids by letting them eat snacks that are forbidden and offering gifts and treats just to make them like you. Mothers have a reason for keeping certain foods and treats away from their kids which has a lot to do with their health and well-being. Try to stick to her rules and implement them as much as you can when you are all together. She will really appreciate this effort and will see you as taking the extra initiative in respecting her feelings.
• Try your best to help out with household chores once in a while to help out the single mom. There is nothing sexier than a man who is willing to do your groceries or pick up your kids from school for you. Offer to babysit while she takes an afternoon off to spend at the spa. Let her know that you appreciate her role as a mother and would like to help out as much as you are able.