A Short Guide for Mother’s who Want to Relate to their Daughters
Perhaps it has been awhile since you have been a daughter yourself. In that case, this article can refresh your memory so that you can better empathize with your own daughter.
No matter what age your female child is, she is most likely dealing with a whole host of fears and insecurities. Most of these unsure feelings stem from not knowing what to expect while growing up.
Unfortunately, your daughter’s fears and insecurities may come out in a variety of unpleasant ways. For instance, she may have mood swings, get irritable, or be even outright angry. She may say she hates you one minute and then acts like you are her best friend in the whole world the next minute.
During this time, you want to still be her mom and stand your ground against any disrespect. At the same time, you also want to make an effort to reach out to her, and to express that you care about her.
One way you can relate to your daughter is as a concerned friend. You might ask her if there is anything that is bothering her, anything that is causing her to feel angry. A small amount of compassion at the right time can tame your daughter’s temper almost immediately.
While attempting to show concern to your daughter and for your daughter’s well-being you might take the following actions:
—Encourage her that she is not a failure if she does not receive as high of a mark on a project that she hoped to receive. You can tell her to try again, and to not give up.
—You can compliment her when she achieves a scholarly goal, or when she receives an athletic medal.
—You can tell your daughter how much you appreciate the work she does around the house if she cleans up. You might also want to reward her with an allowance, especially when she completes extra tasks without you telling her to do so.
—Try not to put her down and do not over-criticize her. It may be necessary to correct your daughter once in awhile and to help her to do things a little better at times. However, avoid harsh criticisms and put-downs, and make sure to balance your positive criticism with negative criticism.
—Make time for her. The older she gets the more independent she may be, and don’t be disappointed she will want to always hang out with you. However, she will appreciate your willingness to set aside time for her. Your date with her can be as simple as asking her to take a walk or inviting her to go to lunch.
Tell her you lover her often. This is one of the most important of all the things you can do for her. Even if you are not a perfect mom she will remember the times when you told her you love her.