How Not to Appear Over-Eager when You Meet Someone New

  • Posted by -
  • On -

Starting a new relationship is in some ways like a child receiving a new toy for Christmas. It is exciting and fun. Unlike a toy, however, human beings can feel smothered if a new partner smothers the other.

If you have just started dating someone new, it is important to give that person adequate space. You do not want to appear over-eager, lest you wind up appearing desperate or needy.

Worse yet, you could be mistaken for a perpetrator or stalker, so be sensitive about the personal space of a new partner. The following is a list of ways to not appear over-eager when you see your new partner:

—It is natural to feel those “butterflies” in your stomach when meeting someone new that you are strongly attracted to. These feeling in your stomach are both of infatuation and nerves.
Despite these feelings, you will want to try to act and talk as “normal” as possible. Keeping the focus on the other person-not asking too personal of questions too soon-is the best way to appear confident, but not overly eager.

—Try not to call your new partner very often. It is recommended that you call your partner no more than once and then wait for a return call. Likewise, when returning a call, it is wise to just make one return phone call and let the person call you back.
Some even recommended that you pretend to be busy sometimes when the person calls-although it would be better to actually be busy if you are going to tell someone you are. The fact that you are not always at the phone can help your partner realize that you are an independent enough person.

—Try to avoid asking your partner too many questions about where he or she was. It could give that person the feeling you do not trust the person, and it shows that you are insecure. On the other hand, your partner may enjoy it if you show a modest amount of interest in the hobbies and interests he/she has.

—Be careful about mentioning you want to get married or that you want to have children too soon. It is important to be sensitive to your partner and to know that your partner would be comfortable with you bringing those subjects up first.

If you haven’t been out in awhile there are quite a few dating books on the market that can help you learn how to deal with men and women. The Venus and Mars series is one of the most helpful of all of them.

You also can find books to read regarding various self-esteem issues. The more confident and relaxed you are when starting a new relationship he better off you are.