How to Deal with Adultery in a Relationship
If you are reading this either you or your partner have been unfaithful. If this is the case, it may not necessarily mean the relationship is over, and the adulterous person can change his or her ways.
The toughest burden may be upon the one who committed the act of adultery. The only thing you can do in this case-if this is you-is to recognize what you did as wrong and own up to the responsibility. Your mate will be more likely to forgive you if you show remorse for what you have done.
Also, if you have been unfaithful realize it may take time to heal the damaged relationship. You may deal with your partner being afraid to be sexually intimate with you for a period of time, or your partner may be emotionally intimate for a time.
If your mate was the one who had done you wrong, you have quite a bit to consider as well. For example, the number of times that it happened may be a consideration. Your capacity for forgiveness may also be a factor as well. More importantly, your ability to trust the person ever again may be in question.
If you were cheated on, it is entirely your decision whether you want to give another person a chance. Also, do whatever you feel is necessary to show your mate that you will not tolerate this type of behavior again in the future. This may require actions such as keeping a distance from your mate until you are sure he or she realized the impact of the situation.
You may also require your partner to attend counseling with you to help improve the line of communication between you and the partner who cheated on you. You are not responsible for the cheating action, but it may help you to understand why a person could make such a mistake.
You also may want to attend counseling on your own after a mate cheated to realize it is not your fault. Also, it is not because you are too unattractive, not attentive enough, or any number of other reasons. If your partner was dissatisfied with the relationship it would have been better for him or her to be up front about it, instead of sneaking around.
If you are the one who was unfaithful, you would also benefit from individual counseling. This is true whether it was a one-time incident or whether or not you are a serial cheater. Any amount of professional counseling at all will help you in the event you some day want to have a rewarding, committed relationship.
Furthermore, if you have cheated on your spouse, the counselor can help keep you accountable so you will not do it again. You will learn from the experience aspects of faithfulness, such as how not to put yourself in a position to do it again.
In general, further acts of adultery can be prevented if you are careful who you spend your time from now on. It may mean cutting off contact with former lovers, spending less time in chat rooms, and coming straight home after work. Whatever you can to keep the trust in your relationship, do it.