How to Love your Woman and help her Feel Secure

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Just when you thought you have done enough to make your woman happy you find out it’s still not enough. Although it is true that some women will never be happy with you no matter how good you are to them, it is still possible that to turn an unhappy situation around.

If you are feeling frustrated, not knowing or understanding why your wife or girlfriend is not happy, the best thing to do is to be very careful to listen to what exactly she is telling you. This may be hard to do sometimes because she may be very frustrated with you and may even seem like a “nag” sometimes.

Although it is not healthy for a woman to “nag” you, try to look past the nagging and get to the root of the problem. Usually the nagging that a woman does is because she wants results and is frustrated that she is not getting them. Also, she may be nagging you because she takes your non-response to mean you do not care rather than realizing that you just need time to process what she is requesting of you.

If this is the case, you may need to ask her for some time to think about the situation for a few days, a week, or however long it takes. In doing so, she will then at least hopefully know that you have not rejected the things she is trying to tell you but that you need to think things through so you can give her the best possible answer.

Asking her for time to think about the things she is telling you will most likely be better than not appearing to care at all about what she is saying. In other words, if you can hold back your defensive feelings for a few minutes and reassure her that you will get to her requests she is more likely to know you care about her.

In your time alone, try to think about what it is your wife or girlfriend is complaining about. Does she accuse you of “never listening to you”, or of “never helping around the house”? Does she blame you for things that go wrong around the house? Does she think you do not love her?

As you ponder the validity of your woman’s complaints, you will become better prepared to ask her questions about her expectations later. Perhaps you may not understand why she would say certain things, or what it is exactly she is asking for.

If you return to her after some serious self-reflection you are more likely to be able to come to a resolution, and to know what to do about the problem. You will be also more likely to have thought things through and realize that your wife or girlfriend does not mean harm, but is trying to be honest with you about things she is unhappy about.

To further help you, the woman in your life may be requesting any number of things, such as the following:

—For you to just listen to her without judging: Try to hear what she is saying, and comfort her if she needs it (i.e. a hug, friendly kiss, a hand to hold). Also, if it is a crisis situation during which your woman is stressed out it is best not to tell her how she “should” or “should not” feel. It is not up to you to judge how she should or should not feel, but to just be there for her. Non-judgmental listening will get you further with her than trying to solve all of her problems-which she is mostly likely adult enough to do as soon as the stressed-out feeling passes.

—Make time for her. Perhaps her constant nit-picking is a sign that the two of you have not spent enough quality time together lately. Not that it is your fault she is overly-critical, but perhaps if you compliment her more often she will let up. Also, if you plan a date for her more often-a time away from kids, work, and everyday pressures-it will help your relationship thrive instead of die.

—Be honest with her about your needs. Remember that you are important in this relationship as well. Your wife or girlfriend is likely to appreciate non-threatening requests directly from you versus hearing it through a third party. For instance, if there is a certain fantasy you would like fulfilled, somehow break it to her. Either that, or try to negotiate alone time if you need it, in a way that will re-assure her that you still love her and will still need her.

There are many more aspects of making a woman more secure. The secret to having a great relationship generally lies in effective communication. Once this is mastered, your relationship is sure to flourish.