How to Develop a Long-Lasting Adult Romantic Relationship
There is nothing like the intensity experienced by a new relationship. This is especially true of one that is only a few weeks to approximately two years old. In fact, the newer a relationship is the more exciting it seems.
That is part of the reason why persons in a long-term relationship sometimes go astray. They feel allured by the newness of someone new. They may even start to believe that the “other person” would be better than the one they are currently committed to.
This may be true in some cases. However, in most cases the person who leaves one relationship to be with someone new is not thinking clearly, and can wind up in an even worse situation than ever before. The grass is almost never greener on the other side of the fence, although it may appear that way.
Part of being in an adult romance is maturity. In order to be in a grown-up relationship you have to be realistic. True romance is accepting another individual for who that person is and loving that person no matter what.
Now, loving that person does not mean that you put up with signs of disrespect. Not by any means should you continue to let someone constantly belittle you, yell at you, or hit you. If a person is acting in a disrespectful way you need to stand up for yourself.
However, if a person has little habits that you knew about when you met the person (i.e. they bite their nails, they smoke, they refuse to recycle paper) you cannot change that person. You sometimes can tell the person your feelings about what it is they do, but you cannot expect that person to change for you.
Knowing you cannot change the person is half the battle. Accepting the fact that you have to either love that person without trying to change him/her is the other half of the battle. This is a decision that often will take time, and in the end you will be able to know what is best for you.
If you do choose to stick it out with the person, try to thank that person as often as possible. Giving thanks to your partner is one of the simplest forms of romance there is. Also encouraging that person and making that person feel useful is also important.
Kind words more often than criticism is another key to keeping a relationship alive even after many years. Also, forgiveness and being willing to admit when you are wrong is very important.
There is such thing as romance, but there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Sometimes your partner may unintentionally hurt you or say something he or she doe not mean while you are in a fight. Your partner may even forget your birthday or anniversary, or even your last name.
When noticing little things about your partner that bother you choose your battles. Some things are worth confronting while others are worth letting go. Knowing this, hopefully you will be able to develop a long-lasting relationship.