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April 18, 2009

How to Know if you Both Should Still Work on the Relationship

Posted in: Relationship

A relationship with someone is one of the nicest things we can experience in our lifetime. However there are times when a relationship would not turn out the way you want it to be. There are times when feel that the relationship is rather toxic for the both of you. But if you feel that you can still work on it, then perhaps this is something you should consider.

Relationship

Here are some tips you should have take into consideration before deciding if you want to work on your relationship:

• Talk it out with your partner. Try to see what the problems were.
• Check if your partner is willing to give it another go. After all both of you would be working on it.
• Formulate concrete plans on how to make your relationship work
• Take the time off. Go to some place by yourself. Think about the relationship and see if it is worth placing more effort into.
• Come up with a pros and cons list. It might be easier to list things and see it on paper. See if your pros really outweigh the cons.
• Ask friends and family. Tell them to let you know what your good traits and bad traits are. See how these would apply to your relationship.
• Ask your partner what are the things he or she would want you to change in order to help the relationship.
• Tell your partner what are the problems you had with the relationship and with him or her in particular.
• If you both decide to work on it, then take the time off together. Go to some place romantic or just go out of town. There is nothing like some place quiet to help you guys talk about what has happened.
• Be honest to each other. Do not hold anything back just because you do not want to hurt the other person. It will be better for the relationship in the end if you let the other know how you feel.
• Be touchy. Touch each other again, like you did when you were first going out. Hug, hold hands and touch each other’s face, arms and waist like before. It might be hard initially but then try to do this more. It would bring you two closer and remind you of how your relationship started.
• Reminisce. Though it sounds cheesy, it helps to think about the past and remind yourself of how good it was.
• Kiss. It might seem really strange to kiss after a rough patch. But intimacy does help.
• Take the time to rebuild your relationship. Talk it over from time to time.
• Cry together. Crying also heals.
• Never blame the other for the pain. It takes two to tango. So the past failure of the relationship was not just the fault of one person. Perhaps one person was more at fault. But it was the efforts of both, or lack of, that led to the failing of the relationship.
• Do not rehash old problems. Do not start bringing up old issues. When you say try it again, it means that you would really try it again. By bringing these old issues up, you will only hurt your partner even more.
• Do not bring other people into the problem. Do not blame other people or use other people as an excuse for your problems. It is your relationship and your problem. Work on it together.
• Remember that a relationship is a two way street. There is no shortcut for this. It really takes effort and time, especially if it is an ailing relationship.
• Go out on dates. Make sure that you take the time to date because you both need time to relax.
• Be open about any problems that might come up. Nip the problem in the bud before it has the time to grow.

It would not be easy getting your relationship back on the road. It would be very difficult in fact. You will face a lot of heartache and a lot of tears. But remember that time heals all wounds. Talk about the pain. Talk about the problem. Do not be afraid to sound cheesy. After all communication is the best key to a successful relationship.


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